This post is mainly about Despina’s bottom but it gets a bit more serious at the end.
When I woke up at 7:30 this morning, I was stark naked in a strange bed, in a plush hotel just off Wenceslas Square.
Well, that got you listening!
No, the only reason I was starkers was because I’d stayed out all night and didn’t have a change of clothes. I met my friend O (my old schoolfriend who’s dead crazy) who was here with his mum, a lady who used to teach us, and another friend. When I arrived I think their intoxication levels were already quite high. We drank many G&Ts, ate at a great pub on Wenceslas Square, and went back and drank some more. This morning my worst fears about my behaviour were confirmed when O showed me a video clip in which I am singing Gounod’s Ave Maria and feeling myself suggestively. Then I looked through the sent messages on my phone and quickly sent Jez an apology for the explicit drunken text I’d sent him. But I don’t think he was that bothered really, he’s used to it!
I stayed for breakfast which was wonderful, so many different foods, including the most random item I’d ever seen on a breakfast table - artichoke hearts. Who eats those for breakfast? I stuck with my blue cheese and sausage sandwich and drank about six cups of strong coffee. I didn’t feel any less crappy after this, but at least I could keep my eyes open. Actually, I was incapable of blinking. So we had some more champagne and then we almost felt ready to face the world.
You know I said I was getting a wee bit chubby? Well, operation Shrinking Despina was not a success, which doesn’t really bother me, except that this morning I realised that my trousers had split. The sexy black trousers I’m wearing to kiss the naked man statue. A great big open 2 inch split on the left bumcheek. Now, whilst I do believe my bottom to be peachier and lovelier than the average bottom, I don’t want to walk around Prague with it hanging out for all to see!
Actually you know, today is the first time I’ve ever been sexually harrassed in Prague - well, if you don’t count the Italian bloke (which you shouldn’t, because sexual harrassment and true love are two very different things). Or the Sergei incident (shh)! Today I was crossing the road and a man with a dog started shouting something to me - the only words I understood were "you have" and "lovely". I didn’t know what he was describing, but from his gestures I could tell that there were two of them and they were round.
It was my last day at work today. I’ve realised that laughter, tears, and hugs know no language barriers. I didn’t want to get upset, but oops, I did. But I also know that I will stay in touch with a few people, especially the director - when I am in court for plagiarism and excessive blogging, Alena - who was my mum for three months, Jarka - who is just great, and Simon - who runs the medical museum, is eccentric and intellectual, and has a quirky, dry sense of humour that I adore.
I’m off to the airport now! Woohoo! Finally, the Jezmister is here!
I hope you got your trousers fixed - I laughed when I read that!
As for random breakfast food- well, the most bizarre experience I’ve had of that was in Sri Lanka. They don’t really seem to differentiate between breakfast food and other meals — (Sri Lankan readers feel free to disagree if I’ve got that wrong!). I remember having a big plate of curried chick peas for breakfast one day — very nice but quite unusual for the British palate!
Comment by Stratford Girl — August 31, 2007 @ 9:50 pm
Trousers splitting - what a bummer. I’m a veteran of such incidents, being the owner of a rather large buttockular set. But, if we smile in the arse of adversity, I think we’re doing well. Have fun with Jez!
Mya x
Comment by Mya — September 1, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
Safe journey home Miss D. x
Comment by Jo Beaufoix — September 1, 2007 @ 11:00 pm
SG - that sounds delicious! Can’t wait to go back to my usual humous breakfast. Wow, Sri Lanka? You’ll have to write about your travels sometime, that sounds so interesting!
Mya - what a way you have with words! Thanks for the award too, I’ll get it posted as soon as I’m home! And there’s nothing wrong with “being the owner of a rather large buttockular set”.
Thanks Jo - I have mixed feelings about going…
Comment by missdespina — September 3, 2007 @ 12:00 pm