Ghost hunters

I mentioned before that my friend was over here last weekend. He’s one of very few people I know who actually gets me, he is actually more insane than I am, and we have a few demons in common which makes him so easy to talk to. He’s also a rather brilliant historian and a devastatingly well-read intellectual with a love of Wagner, so he really appreciated all the cultural and historical delights of Prague. I felt more relaxed with him than I have in weeks.

You know how it is when you’re with your friends, you start talking about relationships, what you expect from them, what’s good, what’s not so good, and what kind of situations you tend to find yourself in.

I have been in two full-blown, long-term relationships. The first was a disaster. The second appears to be going very well.

Now, suddenly, despite computer wiping, memento destroying and photograph massacring, boyfriend number one appears to be haunting me. Whilst I was talking with my friend about him and the two grand he owes me, I received a text from another friend asking for his number - a friend who hasn’t been in touch for over a month. Apparenly a mutual friend needs her piano tuning and needs his number. I hope when she sees him he will be furnished with the full details of just how amazing I am now he’s out of my life.

Except he’s not out of my life is he? For starters he owes me two grand. Secondly he lives minutes away from me. Thirdly we have too many people in common. Fourthly he ruined almost two years of my life.

I’ve been emailing him all summer to try and find out what’s happening, when I will get my cash back, what he’s going to do with the piano he forced me into buying and then promised to restore - two years ago. He’s not been back in touch.

And now, randomly I facebook searched him, and there his was, smiling quizically up at me in that rather rat-like way he always did, challenging me to message him.

Now, bearing in mind that all other attempts to contact him have failed, it would be more difficult for him to run away from a facebook message than to pretend his mobile number no longer works, or to deacivate his email address - as he has done. And I don’t want to ring him, even though I know his parents’ number and I think he still lives there. I get extremely upset when I’m angry, and I have better people to spend money phoning. I’m scared of what I’ll say. I also don’t want him to think I’ve been looking him up on facebook, because he’ll think I’m turning into psycho ex, or that I’m still bothered about him. (I suppose I am still bothered in that it would be nice not to have to go into more debt than is necessary next year. But I think I would rather cut off my legs and beg from a dirty skateboard in the streets of Manchester than ever go back to him.)

However, if I message him on facebook, he will be able to see my profile including what I’ve been up to recently, what I’m up to now, the banter I’m having with my friends, the name of my boyfriend, photos of us together, etc etc. I want him to know I have my own life and of course I’m hoping he’ll be angry and jealous that I have a boyfriend who makes him look like a stupid little boy. But this boy can’t see past the end of his own nose and can’t understand just what makes people better than himself. I don’t want him to see any of that. My life is nothing to do with him now. I just want to meet him in Kro one day, have a coffee, let him know what a favour he did by getting out of my life, and then go home with a nice big wad of cash - I wouldn’t trust a cheque from him. It sickens me to think how I let this slippery, non-committal, self-indulgent, self-hating little boy take over my life and feed off my insecurities.

So, what do I do?

*****UPDATE: after a careful bit of googling, I realised that I might not be able to email him directly, but I can email one of the companies he freelances for. Ooooooooh the temptation…*****

Posted: August 22, 2007 Comments (18)

Psst!

Psst! 

A one act love story written in three languages.

The cast:

English Girl (fabulous)

Freaky Man (hairy)

Male Friend (token)

Sexy International Monsieur (suave as hell)

The scene:

The interior of a gothic catherdral in Prague. English Girl is leaning against a pillar, waiting for her friend to come down from climbing the tower. She is serene and rather nice-looking, despite the heat and her desperation to get to the toilet. Suddenly, she is startled by a noise.

Freaky Man: Psst!

English Girl: (looking around her and seeing no-one) Uh?

Freaky Man reveals his presence behind the pillar. He is a 25 year old 5 foot Italian with a lot of facial furniture and a silly hat. He speaks in a whisper.

FM: Ciao

EG: Čau (the Czech form, she is cracking on not to understand Italian)

FM: Sei bella (It: You’re beautiful)

EG: Děkuji (Cz: Thank you)

FM: (Kissing her hand) Ti amo. I lov-a yow.

EG: (Backing away with a smirk) Deki. A mě taky. (Cz: Thanks. Me too.) I love you too.

FM: (Indicating his left hand) Sono sposato. Devo andare. Ti amo. (It: I’m married. I have to go. I love you.)

He gives her one last kiss on the cheek and with that he is gone, lost in the crowd of tourists. English Girl disappears round to the other side of the pillar and doubles up in sadness and grief, thinking of the joy that might have hysterical laughter.

EG: (aside) OH MY GOD YOU ARE A FREAK!!!

Ten minutes later, English Girl and Male Friend are exiting the catherdral. English Girl spots Freaky Man following behind them.

EG: (to Male Friend) Quick, put your arm round me and give me a squeeze! I’ll tell you why in a minute!

English Girl gets home and rings up Sexy International Monsieur. He is clearly in a good mood, and decides to pay her a compliment in the medium of popular song.

EG: You’re so sexy. I can’t wait to see you, I can’t stop thinking about you!

SIM: And I can’t stop thinking about you either. Do you know why?

EG: Is it because I’m so cuddly?

SIM: Well yes, I suppose. And also because "You’re beautiful! You’re beautiful!"

English Girl puts her head in her hands and seriously starts thinking about becoming a nun. 

Posted: August 21, 2007 Comments (8)

les connards sont arrivés

We have a stag party on the premises, they’re in matching t-shirts and they’re all ugly. Their t-shirts all have some funny joke written on them, although I think the joke will be on them when they realise how far from the centre they are! (I strongly doubt their abilities to work out the night bus timetable!)

The "a" on this stupid computer at fawlty towers has stopped working which means a whole lot of Ctrl+V-ing for yours truly! I should try to write a post without a’s one day, it would be a bit like when Adrian Mole decided to write a book with only consonants…

I enjoyed the film Venus, I think it suited the brooding mood I was in last night. Leslie Phillips and Peter O’Toole really brought a smile to my face as they compared pills and danced around to Dvořák in a church in London - other parts of the film upset me. Maybe my understanding was just too superficial. Jodie Whittaker is bloody gorgeous though!

Posted: August 10, 2007 Comments (3)

Naughty boyfriend

Check out the reason why Jez got shouted at in the airport! Classic.

We have a tired Despina on our hands after a beautiful day. More bloggage tonight if she can rouse herself, promise. But there are 6 weeks’ worth of photos to upload onto this PC, a dinner to make, a movie to watch, and hell of a lot of cuddling to catch up on!

Posted: July 12, 2007 Comments (5)