The adventures of Miss Despina

It’s been a great few days!

On Thursday I took the Student Agency bus to Olomouc, which was a great journey by the way, I’d recommend them. Cheap too!

Olomouc is just gorgeous. I’ll post some photos when I’m back. It’s not too big, you can see everything in two days, but it’s just so quiet and unspoilt! I went in the house where Mozart survived the plague or chicken pox or something when he was on his travels, I went in the cafe in the house where Mahler lived for a few years - whilst reading Milan Kundera’s Immortality, and the actual chapter about Mahler! I climbed the tower of the gothic cathedral and looked out over all the gorgeous squares and churches there. I went in three cathedrals and they were all unbelievably beautiful. I got some high gothic art (which I’ve fallen in love with) and saw a locally created copy of the Bayeux tapestry. At lunchtime I hid from the heat in a jazz club where Yann Tiersen was on the stereo. At night I walked around the outside of the city walls, and then had a gin and tonic in a pavement café, whilst ignoring the rock concert on the main square! I ate local food and generally wandered around and enjoyed the relaxed pace of the city. I have fallen in love with Olomouc and hope I will return one day - sadly we don’t have time to do it between Prague and Krakow as we’ve already booked our time there, but I think next time I come to the Czech Republic, I will defeinitely spend some time there showing Jez around!

I was actually there to look at the library in the medical faculty, but the librarian there decided that the majority of my time would be better spent sightseeing, and didn’t allow me to pay for anything. She was so lovely. I hope we’ll stay in touch, she was so kind and interesting. She’s also multilingual and as well as being a brilliant librarian and teacher, she has also published articles on pedagogy and medical information. I actually felt inspired by what she was saying about the library, and I think that thanks to her I’ve got a brilliant idea for my final year project, thank god! I was starting to get worried! I found her so enthusiastic about her subject, it was very refreshing for me to talk to her. I think for my project I’m going to observe medical students’ search behaviour, before training, immediately after training, and then a few months after training. I hope I can get backing for this!

I also stumbled into a small bookshop by the university and found loads of sheet music, mainly Czech opera arias and art songs. I was amazed - some of this music I have been looking for in the UK and it’s either out of print, or I’d have to buy a great big naff anthology just for the sake of one piece. This stuff just isn’t available in the UK, the editions are either Russian, Czech or German. I had to limit myself because I don’t want to have to pay too much extra for my suitcase, but I was still quite worried about how much this music would cost me. It was 153 crowns, that’s less than 4 quid. Couldn’t believe it! I told her in Czech just how happy I was, I was literally dancing!

Highlights include arias from Samson and Delilah (Printemps est commence, Mon coeur s’ouvre á ta voix) Rusalka’s Song to the Moon, a czech opera anthology, a battered copy of Conconne (thankfully with French instructions), a book of coloratura arias, a few songs by composers I’d never heard of, and a Handel’s Largo with Czech text - I’m sure it will come in handy (and it cost me 25p!)

Yesterday I went out with the lady who used to teach me music at school. Last time she saw me I was a spotty 18 year old, not very sociable and carrying a whopping inferiority complex. However all that was forgotten and we talked like old friends all day. She lives five minutes away from me, she has the same name as me, and her boyfriend is a translator - too many coincidences! I just wish I’d been able to get in touch earlier, but she only joined facebook about three weeks ago. still, better late than not at all. We drove to a lovely historical town, but instead of looking around we just drank wine and soaked up the sun in the main square, then we went back to her fiancé’s family house, where we managed to speak Czech, play with a very cute little girl called Natalya, and get absolutely hammered! Czech hospitality… Then we drove back to Prague, went to our local bar, and drank more, had a brilliant time, and I think I phoned Jez when I got home but you know, I can’t actually remember. Oops. But guess what?

I’m singing at a wedding in Bertramka! The very house where Mozart lived! Isn’t that wonderful!?!

…or maybe just too much afternoon sleep! I lay awake for hours last night, I just couldn’t sleep, it was so annoying! (Couldn’t even go outside for a walk because it’s not a very nice area.) So I wrote down everything I was remembering about Jez’s visit in Prague. For you, my dear. Blush as appropriate and feel free to add anything!

• Tangoing whilst waiting for the tram (I was word perfect).
• Doing the Monster Mash whilst waiting for the same tram a few hours later. When you realised that putting a hand over my mouth and restraining my arms was having no effect, you simply shook your head and walked away.
• Laughing at the stoopid tourists!
• Playing at stoopid tourists! (Gee honey!)
• The excellent restaurant we accidentally found when it was the only place open at 11pm on our first night there. We returned twice and on our last night ordered exactly the same meal for duck-gasms all round!
• Accidentally calling my university tutor a dick. Oops.
• Espionage.
• Walks through Mála Strána late at night. Those small winding streets, the air of mystery!
• The long, deep, interesting conversations we can have about everything, often just prompted by an interesting piece of grafitti, like the gorgeous graphics from El Laberinto del Fauno.
• The castle we saw for 20 minutes - sorry I made you run up that hill. Bad girlfriend.
• The park on Kampa where you refused to do it with me, even though it was almost empty and everyone else was doing it (with far less style than we would have done, I may add!).
• All the photos we took. The good, the beautiful, and the ridiculous!
• Don Giovanni in the Estates Theatre. Enough said!
• Jazz flute in Agharta at a time when I really should have been in bed! Pulling stupid faces and making rude gestures, when we should really have been pretending to be cool.
• My dubious attempts to cook dumplings and other Czech food. Ahhh, Shmaltz, rapturous foodstuff!
• You dancing around the bedroom in my skirt going "My name’s *Despina*, and I’m a lady!"
• Your singing when we decided to go to mass, even though neither of us even go to church anymore. It was all in Czech and you were word and note perfect. (And the priest had trainers on, teehee!)
• Speaking French almost constantly, especially when drunk, and being absolument dégueulasse!

Another one of those lonnnnnng posts I’m afraid. Kettle on, nip to the loo, turn off your straighteners, you know what to do. This week I’ve done headings for you, so please thank me for making my blog look like a tabloid newspaper!

Shock revelation: How Despina is making ends meet and funding her shopping habit

Friday night saw me heading up to the castle for Carmina Burana, looking, as usual, fabulous! Knee-length black/white polka-dot dress with little turquoise cardigan over the top, heels, legs, classy and unusual jewellery, and a chignon so perfect I could feel Audrey’s smile of approval. (Wish I had a photo for you!) On the bus I was conscious that people were looking at me, and I figured it was either because I looked so smart when everyone else was coming back from work, or because I looked so English they were planning to rob me. However, when I got on the tube, these stares became really intense, so I buttoned my cardi up to my chin and looked steadfastly at the floor, feeling so uncomfortable. Only when I was waiting for Kyne outside Malostranská station did I understand the significance of those looks I’d been getting… I am so stupid!

Apparently, I later found out, members of Prague’s branch of the world’s oldest profession can be rather high-class in appearance, and have a certain way of standing, with legs slightly apart and one foot pointed to the side (ie how you stand when you don’t want to fall over on a moving vehicle) and handbag tucked under the shoulder (ie how you stand when you don’t want to get robbed). I knew I was not wearing that much make-up, but I felt really dirty and outraged all the same!

I told you a while back that I live in a city in England where girls wear neon leggings to go out shopping, where cleavage is generally the order the day, and make-up is applied using a paint roller, and then I come all the way to Prague to get labelled a hooker! Well I suppose it stands to reason, given that my favourite going-out frock here is a similar design to the uniform worn by the women who (occasionally) take out my rubbish and change my bed. I told Kyne at least this way it would be easier to indulge his cleaning-lady fantasy. He said he’d told me not to tell anyone. I said he hadn’t told me in the first place. There was laughter and then much looking at the floor.

Ok, my weekend! Yes, I’m getting there!

Carmina Burana

It was stupendous. Due to the rain we moved into the Spanish Hall which looks like a pornographic hommage to Versailles. I have photos which will be uploaded at some stage, but suffice to say that it’s huge and there’s gold leaf and chandeliers everywhere. We sat on plush velvet chairs. I felt like Marie Antoinette. The interpretation was great, I’d like to have a go at writing a (non-wanky) review when I have the programme in front of me so that I can give due credit to the artists involved. But considering how hard I am to please and that this is my favourite piece of music in the whole wide world (apart from the bunny-tipping song) it was an amazing experience. All that noise! Ooooooooooh. Took some gorgeous photos of the sun setting over Prague, and the typical tourist shot of Despina clowning around like a Spice Girl in an empty guard’s box - sorry, everyone.

Dizzy Despina

Got back to the dump where there was a “miss you” party going on for my flatmate who was leaving, and, less officially, a birthday party for Kyne. We drank Tokaji and Moravian brut in the TV room and then realised we’d run out of cheese, and were wondering where we could get cheese and beer, when a little voice said ”Ooh, the 24-hour garage will still be open!” For some reason, everyone laughed. Kyne refused to let me sing happy birthday to him, even after I offered him a choice of styles from Kiri to Marylin, he said he didn’t want to be reminded of it, so eventually I chased him down the corridor and gave him no choice but to listen to a rendition in Despina-style, which I seem to remember being something like

“Happy birthday to youhappybirthday to you Happy birthday you old bastard but thank you for coming to the concert with me lovely birthday mwah mwah mwah happy birthday to you.”

La mome Piaf

My bestest friend had emailed on Friday to say she’s coming for the week beginning today - hooray! I spent Saturday making my flat nicer, filled the fridge with food, and tried to work out how to make coffee without the use of my flatmate’s kettle. Then went off to the cinema with Andrea to watch the new Edith Piaf biopic, in French (my second language) with Czech subtitles (Andrea’s third language). But we did ok. I enjoyed the film, although it was pretty much what I expected. Click here and here for reviews, photos etc. I loved the way the chronology flitted about, I liked the way Edith and other characters were not always supposed to be likeable, I thought Marion Cotillard brought tonnes of pathos to the performance, and the chemistry between Edith and Marcel Cerdan (Jean-Pierre Martin) was spot-on. I would say that some facts in the film were slightly at variance with what I’d read in the book written by her half-sister Simone, but this probably says more about Simone’s way with the truth than about Dahan’s film. I enjoyed the montage scenes that fitted into the 1930s / 40s era, and agree with the reviews up here that the scene where Edith hears of the plane crash is very powerful, as is the boxing sequence set to Mon Dieu.

Kafka

Spent a pleasant afternoon with Kyne and his friends who are over here, sitting in the beer garden outside the hotel eating, drinking, and ostensibly reading Kafka. Kafka is amazing! I love it, but I think Metamorphosis is the strangest thing I’ve ever read. Most of my favourite books from childhood and school combined a bizarre story with a strong allegory, and so I’ve been exploring the idea that Metamorphosis must have an allegorical base too, I need to read some good critiques about this.

“You’re as cold as yesterday’s mashed potatoes”

Ended up tucked around the back of Old Town Square in Ungelt jazz club, since the general feeling in our group was to avoid anything too modern - so out went my two preferences of modern trios - or anything deemed to be naff - ie “senior swing” or big band. I found myself watching a band I heard with Jez a fortnight ago, only without their redeeming feature, an amazing vibes player, and instead with a singer who was wearing an exact replica what I wore to work in Superdrug, and had all the charisma of a pan of mashed potatoes. Cold mashed potatoes with no butter. Still, if you don’t try, you don’t find out, and I think the others were enjoying it. It just really pisses me off when people stand there and expect you to listen to them, but give nothing of themselves in their performance. You wouldn’t be too happy if your date turned up in hiking gear with stubble and death-breath would you? I think this is the musical equivalent. This is one of Prague’s premier jazz-spots,and if she hated being here as much as she appeared to, I’m sure there are plenty of other singers out there who’d jump at the chance to perform here. Hello?

Depina Davis

By the way, slightly off-topic, I’ve decided that if I ever become a jazz performer, I will be probably be playing the trumpet rather than singing. I’ve never ever even blown into a trumpet, but I think one would suit my personality and my personal skills - ie being loud, using my mouth and lungs, and going a bit crazy now and again. Hey, I could do “Let the bright seraphim” as a one-woman show! Classy.

Sick

I’ve noticed that most things they cook over here involve the maximum of stodge. I don’t think I managed to de-breadcrumb my cheesy schnitzel adequately enough at tea-time, as in the evening I felt really bloated and sick, and left the club after only one set, to go back to Fawlty Towers and curl up in bed. I got lost on the way to the metro and taught some Czech tramps some English swear-words, then reminded myself that this was not an episode of Frasier, this was real. Managed to get the last bus back to the hotel, but again, whilst I was waiting on the platform, I was still getting the eye of “how much to play at cleaning ladies?”! Uhhhhhhhhh.

Girlie fun in Prague

Tonight at 10:05, my bestest friend will land at Prague airport! She’ll be here til Saturday, and we have public holidays here on Thursday and Friday, which means we can go off and do fun things together, I’m so excited! I want to go to Křižík’s Fountain and see some ballet dancing, to the cinema to see Shrek 3, and out of town to Kutna Hora. But apart from that, I’m easy.

Oh don’t you bloody start…

Disclaimer: I’m not responsible for the dinner burning in your oven, you falling asleep, you forgetting to video Emmerdale etc etc. This is a bloody humungous post so I suggest you go to the loo and then grab yourself a nice cup of tea.

Sightseeing in lovely Prague

You know, considering the amount of whinging and angst-ing that’s been going on here recently, you’d be forgiven for thinking that I was a wee bit ungrateful and not having a brilliant time. But actually nothing could be further from the truth! True, the city can be overbearing sometimes, but it is amazing and beautiful and I haven’t seen the half of it yet.

Jez was like a kid with a toy when he came here, and took great photos of breathtaking views. It’s a very photogenic city, and it oozes character. I spent my first couple of weekends getting over the fact that I was here, but to be honest I’ve not had much time to be a tourist as work is tiring and certain parts of Prague must be avoided at the weekend! Vyšehrad is my favourite place so far.

 

This is your hostess up in the Vyšehrad.

Last weekend we went to Petřin Hill and climbed up to the top of the observation tower. It was very windy and I was worried by the swaying at the top of the tower, but I was more worried for my flatmate who is about half my weight. But if there’s a tower there, Despina has to climb it! The walk to the top of the hill was long and my legs ached for days but it was definitely worth it for the 360 degree views.

Despina and Audrey

The next day I took myself into town with the intention of having a Hepburny Day (think Roman Holiday), but just ended up going shopping. Oops. But you see the clothes here are so much cheaper than in the UK. Probably. Although whenever I’m standing there in the midst of a style crisis, in much the same way as some people say, "What would Jesus do?" I ask myself "What would Audrey Hepburn do?". I think what Audrey would have done on Sunday would be to walk out of H and M and buy the equivalent items in YSL, but I hope she will forgive me because I only have a stupid grant to live on! Shopping here is fun!

Prague Culture

What else do I like here? Well, the public transport system actually works. The food and drink is not extortionate. Certain parts of town are given over to tourism now and are enjoyable if you can look at the architecture behind the tat-shops and English pubs, but certain parts, such as where I work, still maintain what I think the Italians would call their "vivabilita" - ie their livability (can’t find the accent, sorry). I can drink pints and it’s ok. The views from the castle are beautiful. The view of the castle is beautiful, especially at night. Walking along the Vltava is not overrated. The red roofs of Prague are best viewed from above, I can only imagine what they’re like when covered in snow.

This place is unpretentious. There is so much culture it is making my head hurt. There is a choice of jazz clubs, four of them are within two minutes of each other. I haven’t been to enough art galleries yet, I’ve been promised a room full of altar pieces in a convent turned gallery, but haven’t got there yet! I haven’t been in enough churches yet either! And I’m reading Milan Kundera and Franz Kafka alternately, in English, admittedly, but I’m still getting a feel for Czech authors which is the important thing I suppose. The unbearable lightness of being was a depressing read, but I enjoyed it, especially the way it described the impact of the 1968 occupation on ordinary people’s everday lives.

Naughty Despina

On the downside, as usual I’ve been enjoying my beer and big meals, and have put on a fair amount of weight since being here. I’ve not yet been swimming or hiking, so all this makes me wonder just how many calories manage to burn in an average week simply due to the amount of sex I have(!) But seriously, you have a porky Despina on your hands at the moment, which is not a good state of affairs. I’ve stopped accepting back massages from Kyne for fear of my love handles getting in the way of our friendship. On the plus side, I supppose I have quite big boobs at the moment though. (If anyone is interested. I’m trying to send my X-rating through the roof!)

In my spare time…

Work is turning out to be quite good fun. I’m getting lazy with my Czech but I am managing to communicate with the non English-speakers now, it’s nice to know that my sense of humour needs little translation! Many of my colleagues are very good fun to be around, and I am genuinely grateful for the amount of English they speak to me. Before we go for lunch, two of my colleagues check the menu online and tell me what does and doesn’t contain pšenice (wheat). I already know but it’s very nice of them- they have also recommended shops where I can buy appropriate flour, for which I am infinitely grateful. I’ve been the only girl in a room not eating pancakes, and I’ll tell you, it ain’t nice!

To sum up, I have more surrogate mothers than I know what to do with. I arrived at work one day to find a pot of homemade strawberry jam on my desk, and the next day to find a home-made dessert, both courtesy of my boss! Last night my colleague Jana took me to meet her family. Her daughter was finishing sixth form and with her friends had organised a performance. This girl is amazing, she can belly dance, play the piano, act, make crafts - Jana has given her children so many chances. The performance was entirely in Czech but I enjoyed the enthusiasm and informal atmosphere. Jana and her family were so welcoming, and then I got the tube home with two lovely girls and managed to speak mostly Czech to them! Also, a CD of me singing in Mikado is doing the rounds, which is really raising my credibility in my colleagues’ eyes. I don’t think they expect a diffident little English librarian to be able to "belt it out" quite like that! I think they’re trying to figure me out now.

My workload is quite patchy and I am often left to my own devices - hence the sporadic posting, and today’s opus! I am now proficient in searching for journal articles in a series of medical databases in a variety of ways, I can place reservations for international library loans, and various other geekeries. However, I’ve been given three long-term projects by the director of the whole library. She is very important and spends a lot of time in the ministry for health here, however she is very welcoming and kind and is genuinely interested in my uni course.

My first project is to provide some background information about UK health libraries, for Czech librarians to read. Thankfully I have some very good contacts in this field, including a university tutor who I get on with very well - should be interesting! (It’s a good thing I actually turned up to my NHS information lectures last year. Of course I’m not going to plagarise the lecture notes!) My second project is to map free medical resources available online. I found them all in my first week here, then accidentally deleted the lot of them (grrrr Czech windows grrr), but they’re all here somewhere! I’ve never mapped resources, but I have a friend who will show me, I think like most things it’s about the fluffy and fine art of Blag! And my third and final project, the one that is causing me much pant-wetting joy, is the proof-reading of the English version of the website. Check it out. I’ve never ever proof-read before and whilst my English is very good, it just feels weird. However, I’ve taken some expert advice, and plan to dive in there and make all the adjustments necessary, to rid the world of "delinquent readers", "slave printers", and "sado-masochistic library assistants with a penchant for role-play". (Ok, maybe I made one of those up.) I mean it’s fun, but it’s a bit boring.

Surreal paragraph

Back at Fawlty Towers, we continue to take the mickey out of family life. I’ve been placed firmly in the role of "mum". Boy One is ignored, fobbed off, and generally treated like he deserves for being the reason why I had to drop out of college and give up me job in the chippy and couldn’t afford to go to Ibiza. Boy Two is my little beta, favoured with love, football shirts, and expensive electrical equipment. Our disfunctional family is completed by Uncle Nob-head (Peter Kay reference, sorry), a good for nothing odd-job man I met in the pub one night, and who may or may not be Boy One’s natural father. All good fun!

Two new girls have moved in and are really friendly and good fun! Magda cooks amazing food, I cook unusual food, and life is ok there, athough the 14 year old tourists going up and down in the lifts, running around above our heads, and perpetually asking where I am from, is pretty annoying. I was chiling in Kyne’s room late last night, when suddenly there were these two Slovakian guys in there with us who our friend had drunkenly invited up. Kyne’s subtle lifts of the eyebrows and shoulders were clearly not working, so I just cut into the middle of what this guy was saying, yelled "na shledanou!" (see you!) and waved byebye!

I leave you with news that the sales are on, so I am going shopping. Big surprise!

Ahoj! Despinová