The adventures of Miss Despina

Anne my love, thanks for tagging me in this insightful meme, and shaming me into blogging again! 

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? Many things! I lived in a foreign country for three months, I did two singing and acting roles on the stage at the Royal Northern College of Music (one was the main role). I moved house six times. I ate octopus. I got fined by two Hungarian ticket inspectors, and a Czech policeman. I painted my toenails turquoise. I heard jazz in central Europe.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? If I made any last year, I probably didn’t keep them. I have a few resolutions for next year, but the main ones are to put more effort into doing things socially as a couple with Jez, and to take control of my depression.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No-one in the UK!

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit? Scotland, Poland, Hungary, Czech Republic.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? Stability. Please!

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 11th - one year of Despina and Jez. And all the dates I counted down to in Prague. Concert dates too, 13th November in particular.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Learning to speak Czech!

9. What was your biggest failure? Not doing as well as I could have done in uni.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? One bad chest infection, cutting off the top of my thumb, styes, and of course the ubiquitous depression.

11. What was the best thing you bought? A brown and cream silk skirt, a la Audrey Hepburn, with matching brown ballet pumps shoes (I’ve had it 6 months and worn it once!) Also, a shedload of sheet music!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? Jez has been amazing this year. Many friends have been very good to me, but Jez’s capacity for supportiveness, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and pure love, remains unmatched. Mags has been here for me both physically and virtually, and passed all her exams second time round. Mum turned her back on a horrible career and is now enjoying being a retired lady of leisure. Dad coped with redundancy, bounced back and is now doing a bit of everything, being wonderful as always (but is working a bit too hard). Kyne was also a really good friend in Prague, dragging me out to the pub and various places, when I just wanted to hide, and making sure I ate properly.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? My own, recently.

14. Where did most of your money go? Phone bills, I think!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Moving house recently with Jez, seeing Don Giovanni / Manon Lescaut in Prague, dancing on the Danube, seeing Jez after 6 weeks without him, making Christmas, going to Budapest, singing in Czech, learning Glitter and be Gay and hitting the highest notes I’ve ever sung, playing Yum-Yum, being thin enough to wear my favourite dresses, hearing Rachmaninov 2nd symphony, and many, many more things!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? Too early to say, but certainly any Klezmer or anything by Lakatos, or Julie Fowlis, or the Pulp Fiction soundtrack, or Don Giovanni!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer? A bit sadder I think, and certainly not richer, but considerably thinner. (I yo-yod between 10 and 14 this year, I’m now a curvaceous 12!)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Travelling in the Czech Republic, making time for my friends, studying.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Working, dwelling on things, being a rubbish girlfriend, abusing my body and my mind, and fucking up my life in general!

20. How did you spend Christmas? In my beautiful new home, with my family and Jez’s family. It was a really perfect Christmas Day, in fact.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007? Yes, more and more in love.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Can’t answer this one, as I don’t have a TV!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No. I’ve realised how much energy it takes to hate someone, and no-one is worth that when there are so many people worthy of better than hatred.

24. What was the best book you read? Ooooooh I can’t answer this! I’m currently reading the Philip Pullman trilogy and finding it mindblowing, but I loved The Historan and The Icarus Girl, and Immortality, and Inventing the Victorians.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? That I can sightread!

26. What did you want and get? To have the happiest week of my life. (And the worst.)

27. What did you want and not get? So many things.

28. What was your favourite film of this year? La vie en rose.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 22, and I seem to remember it was the first time I saw the house where I now live, and I thought it was beautiful. Then I think Jez made me something delicious to eat, or maybe we went out somewhere… maybe I was a bit drunk.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More self-belief.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Classic, with a few quirky twists. Three quarter length trousers with ballet pumps, lots of jewellery. Tailoring. Killer heels.

32. What kept you sane? Music.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don’t really do celeb crushes, but if I had to choose, I suppose Vincent Delerm (Sorry Jez but it is all your fault.)

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The police and government’s reaction to the murder of Jean Charles de Menezes. The words "a corporate failure" remain etched on my mind. I am appalled.

35. Who did you miss? Everyone I’ve managed to alienate in the last year. And in Prague, obviously I missed Jez and my family. I’ve missed Catherine since she went to uni.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Kindest, funniest, or downright strangest? Too many to mention - not just new friends in 2007, but people I knew before who I am now much closer to. That’s a nice feeling.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. I will consider my response to this and write a separate blog post about it. But I am beginning to realise just what a big responsiblity life can be.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Plusieurs indices m’ont mis la puce à l’oreille
J’ouvre l’oeil
J’vais faire une enquète pour en avoir le coeur net
Ca m’inquiète

Y a des détails qui trompent pas

Les draps la couette et la taie d’oreiller
Sont plus dépareillés
A coté de mes fringues en boule
Y a des vêtements pliés et repassés

Y a des détails qui trompent pas
J’crois qu’y a une fille qu’habite chez moi !

Deux brosses à dent dans la salle de bain
Du savon sans savon et le sèche-cheveux
C’est certainement pas le mien
Des petites boules bizarres
Pour parfumer la baignoire
C’est un vrai cauchemar
Quelqu’un a massacré tous mes amis cafards !

Dans la cuisine des sachets de thé
De verveine de camomille
Un message sur le répondeur d’une mère
Qu’est pas la mienne
V’là qu’elle s’en prend à ma famille !

Y a des détails qui trompent pas

Quelqu’un en douce a fait la vaiselle
Où sont mes habitudes mon ménage trimestriel ?
J’ouvre le frigo horreur c’est d’la folie !
Y a plein de légumes !
Y a même des fruits !

Y a des détails qui trompent pas
J’crois qu’y a une fille qu’habite chez moi !

Où sont mes potes qui glandaient devant la télé
Les boîtes de pizza les paquets de chips éventrés
Les mégots de cigarettes écrasés dans les assiettes
Ma collection de new look ? Aux oubliettes !

Sur la table de nuit y a plus de capotes mais de l’aspirine
Y a une fille qu’habite chez moi
Y a aussi des bougies contre l’odeur de la nicotine
Y a une fille qu’habite chez moi !

Y a des détails qui trompent pas

Y a un vrai rideau y a plus un drap cloué sur la fenêtre !
Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça ? Mon Dieu, c’est une plante verte !

L’aspirateur est encore chaud
C’est trop je porte plainte !
Je vais l’emmener au labo
Pour vérifier les empreintes

On dirait que je suis plus célibataire
La coupable je la tiens
Elle est devant l’étau se resserre
Accrochée au téléphone assise en tailleur
Dans une jolie robe à fleur
Une fille me dit "Arrête ton cinéma
Et le loyer j’le paye autant que toi !"

(Bénabar, Y a une fille qui habite chez moi)

So, I handed in my notice at Boots. It’s simply not worth it, to give away three mornings of my week to earn about £90. I’m going to have to be a bit broke for a little while, but you know what? I’m so happy I’ve made this decision. I have to invest in Me for a bit, and I deserve to give 45% of my attention to singing, 45% to the final year of my degree, and the other 10% to Jez. By the way do you know how you test decisions? You make it, and pretend it’s your final decision, and see what feeling washes over you. If it’s panic, it’s not the right decision. If it’s relief, then you should go ahead! So simple.

I’ve also been offered a £1k a year scholarship to sing in a local cathedral. Hope this works out, as I need the cash!

I did a concert last week and got a lovely review in the paper (although I look stupid and pregnant on the photo) - you remember when I had to find a pianist in a matter of hours? It went absolutely brilliantly, well, apart from me forgetting one song but I shoved it in at the end along with all the other encores. You read the review of course. I loved premiering Rusalka’s Song to the Moon, because I realised it’s so very simple and so very moving if done with good taste. I also realised I prefer singing in Czech to singing in German - strange I suppose, but in my case it stands to reason.

Then a few days later I supported a brass band - who bless them, were doing their best but were never going to win many prizes - and then a few days after that was my Old Lady Cabaret. My pianist and I arrived at the church 30 minutes early for an 8:15 start. However, the old ladies were taking longer than expected over their dinner, so my pianist and I just sat patiently in the room next door, drinking the sherry they’d kindly left us, and catching up on old times. 8:15 came and went. We had another sherry. My pianist asked me if I’d like to sing at a World Aids Day service in the cathedral. A solo. I said yes of course. 8:30 came and went. We had another sherry.

At 9, I stood up and started singing "I feel pretty" to these ladies, who, to be honest, looked like they just wanted to go home and feed the cats. We got lost and sang about 5 verses, trying to catch up with each other. Then in "Tonight" I got the giggles, in my Cole Porter numbers they were joining in so enthusiastically, I left it up to them to remember my words, likewise the Jerome Kern, then I did "La vie on rose" and "Autumn leaves", and finished with a couple from My Fair Lady.

Then we took the money, finished the sherry, and left. They absolutely hated me. It was hilarious! 

Now I’ve got two essays to write for next week, and a lovely house to enjoy.

Sorry for the mememememememe-ness of this, I just wanted to let you all know I was ok! 

I’m off to find out what you’ve all been up to now! 

I’ve been back almost a week now and I have to say that I’m getting increasingly anxious about enrolling at uni, getting my student loan through, and submitting the volumes of paperwork, reports and receipts needed to get the final part of my Prague grant. I have a lot of extra-curricular stuff to organise, language classes to enrol for (Italian stage 2 and beginners’ Spanish) and somewhere in the middle of this lot I have to find a job so I have enough money to pay my phone bill so I don’t have to perform a sexual favour on someone from 3 mobile, or an employee of my bank. Shudder!

But, on the plus side, I have singing work coming in thick and fast, and this doesn’t even include Christmas! This weekend I’ll be singing high mass in a church in Manchester on Friday night and Mozart’s Coronation Mass (with the lovely Agnus Dei) in a church somewhere in the hills on Saturday, and getting nicely paid for both. Then in October I’m doing chorus in a come and sing the Messiah, as I’ve never done a whole one in chorus so it will be a challenge and a good experience. I’ve also just been asked to sing at a venue where I cancelled two years ago, and thought the organisers had (justifiably) struck me off their books - so that’s good. Then in November, a dinner cabaret followed by a lunchtime recital a week later - in my hometown! Finally this prophet is being recognised in her own town!

Then in December, which I’m really excited about, I’m singing in a concert with an opera company I love. We haven’t had an easy time of it recently, but membership is high with 22 of us at the last rehearsal (an a few regulars missing), including a young bass I recruited myself. When I sing there I am surrounded by singers I love and respect, and who are all so accomplished that there is no jealousy, cattiness or upstaging going on. Everyone is too professional for that! There are some stunning voices there, and everyone contributes solos or small ensemble pieces to the concerts, as well as working together to make a tremendous noise in the choruses. I have some brilliant friends up there, I’m so glad I joined them. What I’m more excited about though, is our Pocket Opera / Come and Sing Day, where we’ll be singing A one act opera plus some of our big chorus numbers and a few solos. The point of this day is to raise money, raise our profile in Manchester, and to recruit new singers and audience. Everyone will be welcome to sing, although our members will be singing the principal parts, of course.

I want to audition for a part, but I already have an important job that day. Anyone who speaks Italian will know that it’s a delightful language. However, some people just have a mental block when it comes to singing in anything except English, and some of the singers there on that day might never have sung Italian before. So I am going to coach Italian pronunciation! I was amazed that my offer was accepted actually, but I’m really excited about it. I just need to put together a fool-proof tutorial, run it past a couple of singing friends and the M.D. of course, then go in there and assert myself and do a good job! I also know that my Italian teacher coaches the singers at the conservatoire next to my uni, so he will be a good source of information.

There are auditions in November I’m considering going to for an opera company I have sung with in the past. The advantages of auditioning for this are obvious - it’s a good opera, and any experience is good. However, the company have treated me really quite crappily in the past, both from committee, unwelcoming singing members, and the horrid  talentless stuck-up tone-deaf woman who was running things last time I looked. Don’t get me wrong, I like a lot of the people up there too, I’ve made some nice friends. But if she were on the panel, I could go in there and sing like Anna Netrebko and I could still forget about a part, despite the fact that I have more class in my left tit than she has in her whole being.

I don’t even care if she reads this, I am just sick to death of small-mindedness like hers. Sometimes I worry about who’s reading this and whether it’s going to damage me professionally, but other times I just think Sod It!

Annnd….. I can’t remember my point. But anyway, I feel very happy about the amount of professional singing I’ll be doing over the next few months. I also have my favourite accompanist for most of the gigs - which makes all the difference.